From:
Denise Daniels
HELPING
FAMILIES RIDE THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER OF FRIGHTENING ECONOMIC TIMES
Noted parenting authority Denise Daniels says the recent tumult in
the financial markets is “a
teachable moment of epic proportions” for families.
"Tough
economic times are also opportunities for families to learn how to survive
an emotional rollercoaster," says Peabody
Award winning broadcast journalist Daniels, whose calming parenting
advice has been familiar to television and radio audiences for many years.
“We all hear the reports that people are angry that big companies are
getting bailed out while ordinary folks are not. They are terrified they
won’t have enough money to support their families. They are worried that
they will lose their health care coverage or not be able to afford it at
all, about downsizing and being out of work, about losing their homes or
access to college loans. It is a genuinely troubling time.
“Children inevitably get concerned when they hear the sometimes panicky
reports of companies going bankrupt and watch video clips showing people
removing their belongings from offices in cardboard cartons,” says Ms.
Daniels. “Parents are subject to enormous pressure in times like these when
nearly everyone is impacted by the current financial difficulties. This is a
teachable moment of epic proportions.”
Adults in
families impacted by job loss, mortgage foreclosure or other economic
catastrophe should seek adult support for themselves. “Don't under estimate
the importance of sharing your experience and fears with others who
understand,” says Ms. Daniels. “Whether it's a loved one or counselor,
talking about it can help ease the burden.”
It is
important that parents try to maintain structure in their personal lives.
“Designating specific times of the day to organize finances, review options
and seek alternative employment will provide a sense of empowerment that
will keep you from feeling helpless and that your life is spinning out of
control,” she says.
Parents
should bring a financial crisis at home down to family realities children
can understand – that holiday presents may be less elaborate and expensive,
that the family may spend less on extras, and so forth. Ms. Daniels offers
the following tips on how to explain the current financial crisis to
children:
ü
The troubles these companies are having are real, but they do not
directly impact the safety of your family. Children are intuitive and
perceptive. Trying to protect them or hide them from stories in the news or
in the living room will only add to their confusion. Remember, what's
mentionable is manageable, so provide age appropriate and accurate
information.
ü
Hold regular family meetings. Encourage children of all ages
to express their feelings, worries, or concerns by creating an environment
that is conducive to feeling comfortable. At the same time, explain how and
why family finances have changed and what that will mean individually to
each member. Use this opportunity to talk calmly but honestly about
expectations and anticipated life style changes.
ü
A financial crisis is an opportunity to teach values. In
today's society money problems, job losses and financial uncertainty seem to
be the rule, rather than the exception. Now is a time to talk about what is
even more important – how family members can help one another in difficult
times. Discuss ways children can be of help during this time of transition
and encourage them to feel they are making a contribution. The invaluable
life lesson here is that self-worth trumps net-worth.
ü
Provide honest reassurance. If you’ve lost a job, children need to
feel your confidence that in time people will find another. Let your
children know that no matter what is going on, they are safe and you will
always do your very best to take care of them. If you have lost a job, tell
them honestly how their lives will stay the same and what will be different.
ü Take
time to play together. Planning a family fun night or other activity
will help children feel connected and secure. Enlist the children's
help when planning activities as this will help them feel involved and
valued. Remember, the "jobs" of children are to study hard and play! Above
all, let
your kids
know that no matter what happens, they will be alright! |
