Crying For A Solution
Evelyn Petersen

If you were to ask parents what the hardest part of parenting was, many would tell you that it is listening to their child cry. Parents have tried everything from earplugs to bribery, but still... Part of being a parent (and a grown up) is accepting the fact that kids do cry sometimes. If you cannot talk to them to find out what the problem is, maybe you should use earplugs or leave the room. It's lots less expensive than bribery and FAR less damaging to children. Bribery will not do a thing to help your children exhibit better behavior or stop crying. This is because you are rewarding them for the "bad" behavior. When you give a child something to get them to STOP some sort of misbehavior, it's bribery. The kids will continue to behave badly so they can get the reward again. Instead you need to find out what is making them cry and problem solve to eliminate the cause of that behavior. But, if it's actually "whining" instead of crying that they are doing, you should both follow the same plan to put a stop to it. Simply say, "I will not listen to you or talk to you unless you talk in your real, regular voice." Follow through by ignoring them completely until they stop whining. At that point listen to them, and point out that the reason you're listening is because they are talking nicely in their regular voices. Instead of using bribes, talk after supper around the table about the "rules of the house." State


Evelyn Petersen's nationally syndicated parenting column is carried in over 200 newspapers twice each week. As a family/parenting consultant, early childhood educator, Head Start consultant, and host of a series of parent training audio and video tapes, Ms. Petersen employs an approach of providing hands-on, nuts and bolts advice to parents across the country. You can read more from Evelyn at her web site: www.askevelyn.com