Most children lie to try to escape punishment, hence the saying, "Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies". These are called self-protective lies. During the first five or six years of life, children go through a normal phase of trying to cover up by lying. They stop lying when they learn it doesn't convince anyone. Here are some tips for handling lying: • First, punish your child based on the available evidence. For example, if a dish is broken and your child has been in the kitchen, you don't need to be Sherlock Holmes. Don't ask your child what happened when you already know what she did. Children aren't good at confessing. • Second, for misbehavior without any evidence, (for example, you think your child watched a TV show that you told her not to) overlook it. Trying to investigate it will just bring you grief. • Third, when you confront your child about misbehavior and she spontaneously denies she had anything to do with it, show your disapproval. Tell her, "I really feel bad when you lie to me and hope you'll tell me the truth next time, " and then give her a double time out. • Finally, don't try to catch your child in a lie or make her confess. This just leads to more lying.
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