Explaining Divorce

Adolescents aren't necessarily better equipped to deal with divorce because of their age. Anger and uncertainty are normal reactions for these kids, although they may be more adept at hiding these feelings.

• Adolescents are learning to separate from the family as a unit and their growth toward independence, and divorce poses additional conflicts for them in this area. Others take the opportunity to slip between the cracks and separate all too effectively from the family, avoiding any parental discipline.

• If a household is tense and family fights are frequent, a teen's basic reaction might be to simply escape. Escape can take many forms, including detachment, drug use, leaving school, and even choosing an unwanted pregnancy in order to feel needed and loved.

• You'll find that teens are usually upset and embarrassed with their parents' sexual needs. It's also difficult for them to deal with their parents' sexuality while in the process of learning about their own.

• Don't forego setting reasonable limits and curfews for a teen. Many teens need more structure, rather than less during this time of turmoil.

• Excuse verbal attacks you will have to tolerate, but be cautious about giving in too much.

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