When To Intervene In Sibling Fights
by Vicki Lansky
The degree to which you interfere in kid's squabbles depends a great
deal on their ages. The younger they are the more likely you'll probably
find yourself soothing and separating.
Little kids need help in learning how to take turns and make
compromises. As they get older they're better able to take care of
themselves, and it's best not to play referee if you can avoid it. Try to
let them settle their own differences. If you do have to step in, be
careful not to concern yourself about who's wrong and who's right. Still
here's some successful ground rules that might work for you:
- Any fought-over object will be put away for 24 hours or the timer
will be set (so many minutes for one child, so many minutes for the
other).
- One child divides the snack, the other chooses his or her portion
first.
- Whoever says, "me first" is automatically last.
- The child who makes fun of another's punishment gets the same.
- Fighting in the car will result in the car being pulled over to the
side of the road and parked until quiet is restored.
- And finally, let your kids know that tattletales will fall on deaf
ears.
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Last modified: Oct 24, 1995