It's sad, but true that many teenagers, especially girls, dislike their bodies--often feeling fat and unattractive, even when the mirror shows otherwise. This self-criticism and poor body image can be a factor in the development of eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia. It can also be the beginning of dieting followed by weight gain, resulting--with time--in long-term weight problems.
The best time to help your child develop a positive body image is well before the teen years. Recent studies show that girls in the primary grades--those as young as six, seven and eight--select "ideal weight" drawings significantly thinner than their own body shape, demonstrating that our unrealistic cultural ideals of feminine beauty have a negative impact early on. Other studies have shown that young girls whose parents, particularlyu their mothers, criticize their weight, body shape and appearance, are more likely to develop eating disorders in adolescence.
What can you do to help your child feel good about himself or herself physically?
First, point out the fact that healthy, attractive people come in all sizes and shapes and help your child discover what she likes about her body (instead of focusing on what she thinks isn't perfect)
Second, keep your comments positive and realistic. A girl in early puberty (which can occur, in some, as early as nine or ten) may experience a significant weight gain as the normal body shape changes from angular to rounded. This is a normal passage of adolescence and should not be viewed with alarm and criticism by parents. It can help to reassure your daughter that her new shape is a positive sign of many more changes to come as she grows from little girl to woman.
Third, if your child--either a daughter or a son--is overweight, seek medical help and advice. If a physician determines that the child does, in fact, need to lose weight, changing the family's eating and exercise habits to make such change easier for the child is helpful. Emphasize good health and fitness as a family instead of singling out the overweight child for a special regimen. Family health and togetherness--rather than attractiveness--can be a much more positive goal.
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