If your child already has made the choice to use drugs or drink, you and he need help from a professional counselor or a drug and alcohol intervention service. If he has not yet made such a choice, you need to do the best you can to prevent unwise choices about drugs and alcohol. You cannot follow him everywhere, monitoring his every move. You have better alternatives for keeping him safe and teaching him to make choices in his best interest.
Research tells us that kids who have good communication with their parents have a better chance of avoiding substance abuse. Families with good communication talk honestly and openly about their feelings and about such problems as peer pressure, teen pregnancy and drugs. Teens who do not use or abuse drugs usually feel that their parents love them and trust them. They have had a say in family rules and have been allowed to make choices appropriate to their ages and abilities.
If you constantly nag or make unfounded accusations, your son may feel that you neither love nor trust him. He needs to hear you say that you worry because you love him, not because you don't trust him. Expect his best, not his worst.
You also should obtain clear, factual information about drugs and alcohol. Written information is widely available through schools, churches, libraries and the PTA. Read articles or pamphlets together and discuss them as a family, if possible. Share your concerns and values, but let your teen know you believe he can make healthy choices in his own best interest.
In Michigan, an excellent pamphlet about drug and alcohol prevention called It's Up To You is available at Blue Cross/ Blue Shield offices. Or call the Michigan Communities in Action for Drug Free Youth for information on their newsletter at 1-800-622-6849, 9-5 weekdays.
For more help, write the:
National Clearinghouse for Drug Abuse Information
PO Box 1701
Washington, D.C. 20013