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Politeness

by Evelyn Petersen

A woman in Philadelphia recently asked me the following question: When I see children being polite, behaving well and showing good manners in public, do you think it's all right to say something nice to their parents about it?
My answer? Absolutely yes! One of the best ways for us to support and reinforce children and their parents is to praise positive behavior. Speak up whenever and wherever you see it, and don't be afraid to let others hear you. Maybe what you say will motivate similar efforts in others.

When children are praised for good behavior, they keep it going. When parents are praised or acknowledged for their good parenting, it lifts their spirits and helps them feel they are doing the right thing. All of us, and especially today's busy parents, need praise for the kind of good parenting that shows in well behaved children.

On a recent four hour flight, a dad was sitting behind me with children about ages 5 and 7. I thanked him for reminding his children (who were too short to see that there are people in the seats in front of them) not to kick the seat to keep time to the songs they were quietly singing. I also commended him for raising such polite children; they said "Please Daddy..." with every request, and also thanked the flight attendant for her service.

As we continue our mad rush to holidays, here are some stocking stuffer ideas.

Consider glue or glue sticks, masking tape, transparent tape, safe scissors, tiny note pads, personalized stamp pads, and "stickers" of all types.

Encourage good health and grooming habits with small combs, fold up hairbrushes, small hand mirrors, fun soaps, bubble bath, new toothbrushes, personal toothpaste and safe dental floss.

Other good stocking stuffers that are fun and encourage thinking skills are small magnets, small magnifying glasses, disposable flashlights, measuring tapes, simple calculators, small books, and stories and music on cassettes.

Tiny stuffed animals, small troll dolls, and little cars and trucks children can use with blocks for pretending are other good choices, as are silk scarves and dress up jewelry from the Good Will or Salvation Army store.

Remember to go easy on the candy; replace some of it with favorite fruits, nuts, and gum. Happy stuffing and Happy holidays!

Ms. Petersen's nationally syndicated parenting column is carried in over 200 newspapers twice each week. As a family/parenting consultant, early childhood educator, Head Start consultant, and host of a series of parent training audio and video tapes, Ms. Petersen employs an approach of providing hands-on, nuts and bolts advice to parents across the country. Her new book "A Practical Guide to Early Childhood Planning: The What Why and How of Lesson Plans" has just been released.

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