Explaining Divorce

Very young children may be unable to put a label on the experience of divorce, but even they realize that something is different and usually react with bodily responses and regressive behavior.

• When parents are anxious, toddlers sense the emotion and frequently become fearful themselves. The most important way you can help your toddler adjust is by keeping life as normal as possible.

• Small children react more strongly to change, but they also make the easiest adjustment, because the memory of intact family life fades faster.

• Young children are strongly affected by day to day caretaking; they need reassurance, love, attention, and rituals.

• Realize that sleep problems, which are common anyway, are likely to surface as fears heighten.

• Treat any regression in your toddler as casually as possible. The most recent accomplishment, whether it be in the area of toilet training or general behavior, is likely to be the first to go.

• Young children, because they lack verbal skills, are likely to become increasingly irritable and cranky; they may hit siblings and behave more aggressively. This and many other expected behavior patterns are just temporary, and they will change over time.

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